


The Hypothetical Holodeck Game

by Aris Merquoni (ArisTGD)



Category: Leverage
Genre: Community: fic_promptly, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-17
Updated: 2011-03-17
Packaged: 2017-10-17 01:33:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/171539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisTGD/pseuds/Aris%20Merquoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the prompt "Leverage, Hardison, programs he'd write for his own personal holodeck."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hypothetical Holodeck Game

"You telling me you wouldn't use a holodeck for sex?"

Eliot shrugged and took another swig of beer, staring resolutely at the television screen. "I just think it'd be creepy."

"Dude, it's a holodeck," Alec said. "Holodeck. No guilt, no arguments, no nothin'. Just sweet, sweet... whatever your personal fantasies are there, man, and no I am not delving into your subconscious after that."

Eliot shrugged again, looking far too bored for someone who should have been contemplating a truly delicious hypothetical scenario. "I'd probably just use it to play sports," he said. "Or do martial arts training. If you could get anyone."

"I cannot believe it, man." Alec shook his head. "Maybe I'm just a lover, not a fighter."

"Sheeyeah," Eliot said. "So who would it be not creepy to have sex with on a holodeck?"

"Rihanna," Alec said instantly. At Eliot's stern look, he complained, "What? She's on the cover of Vogue, she's famous, it's just her likeness, that's cool, right? Certain amount of knowing people wanna sleep with you comes with being famous. It's just background noise. I'm sure she's cool with it. You see her latest music video?"

"Still creepy," Eliot said. "Okay, who else?"

Alec hesitated and mentally edited his list. "Hazel Scott."

Eliot blinked slowly at him. "Who?"

"Oh, man, you don't know your history. Hazel Scott--here, lemme show you."

"Hardison!" Eliot growled as he flicked the football game off the screen, but the way the Eagles were playing ain't nobody was too interested in the rest of that game. So Eliot had stopped grumbling by the time Alec had pulled up the requisite YouTube clip.

As the piano playing intensified and the camera did a slow-motion pan over Miz Scott's fierce fingers and rested on a nice shot of her awesome cleavage, Eliot's head slowly tilted to the side in recognition of true talent. "Yow," he finally said. "Okay, that's... some piano playing."

"Woman had skills," Alec agreed. "Skills, and _fingers._ Think about it."

"I'm thinking," Eliot said.

"Damn."

"When was this video taken?"

"Sometime in the thirties?" Alec guessed. "She had a teevee show, did a bunch of movies."

"So you'd holodeck-bang a woman old enough to be your grandma?"

Alec glared at him. "Dude, is it creepier or less creepy than if they're just famous now?"

"Dunno," Eliot said. "Okay, so is that all?"

Alec hesitated, then said, "Yeah, that's probably enough to keep me busy. I mean..."

"I'm surprised you didn't say Lieutenant Uhura."

Alec hesitated again, then closed his eyes and said, "Okay, are we talking new Uhura or classic Uhura?"

"I knew it," Eliot said.

"Because Zoe Saldana is fiiiine--"

"You are such a nerd, Hardison," Eliot said. "I knew you were such a nerd."

"But have you seen the ass on that woman in those miniskirts?" Alec finished, determined to make his point. "Nichelle Nichols, she was more than fine, she was fan--"

"I think Classic Uhura was sexier than New Uhura," Parker said from the other side of the couch. "But neither of their outfits were very practical. Did they even have pockets?"

Alec turned around to stare at her. She was sitting with her legs crossed and a bowl of popcorn in her lap, apparently engrossed in the YouTube crawl still playing on the screen.

"How long has she been there?" he asked Eliot.

"I'd say busted, dude," Eliot responded, "But I don't think her mind works that way."

"Works what way?" Parker asked. "Want some popcorn?"

"Thanks, honey," Alec said. "Um... thanks for backing me up on that."

"You're welcome," she said. "What's a holodeck?"


End file.
